11 Comments

If the shoes don't fit...

I was surprised once again by your writing, Todd. Using the shoe metaphor helped me realize how much we need to talk about language and of course, shoes.

In a fast-paced society where you need to be "one of the bunch", having a 'weird' shoe creates hassle and problems.

Being a big size in shoes, I've had my literal share of problems finding my size.

And of course, metaphorically, my shoe doesn't fit the standard. An engineer, facilitator, magician, visual thinker, slow creative and overall contrarian will probably won't find a shoe to be fit on these days. And damn, I'm so proud not to.

And I hope my daughters have carte blanche on this. To do what they want to do. To find their own colourful, weird, unique shoe that only fits their self.

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Or, maybe they don't need a damn shoe. Maybe they take them off to be lighter to fly. :)

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An experience of being on an 'unfamiliar court' happened to me when I was an undergraduate student - decades ago. In one of my education tutorials we were reading all the bad statistics about Indigenous NZers. Less educated, higher teen pregnancies, higher incarceration rates, higher mortality rates. As the first person in my large extended family to attend university it was the first time in my life that I thought 'I'm not supposed to be here' and I also had the thought that maybe I was 'less than.' Add being raised by a single parent who dropped out of school at 15 and I really, really wasn't supposed to be there. I high five my younger self for sticking it out.

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Im so glad so hear you, continuing to beat the odds, buck the trends, and create a model for the next set of Shirley-Moanas.

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Maybe we shouldn't be so limiting in our use of the word "beautiful". Even the dictionary says it means pleasing to the eye OR the mind, and we should add heart to that list. I personally rarely use the word unless something touches me deeply, to the point of tears even. When do we tell our daughters that they are beautiful? Is it when they dress up and want us to? Is it when we catch them shining? Showing up? Being brilliant or kind? Is it when they're simply being themselves? Is it when they are low and feeling anything but in anyway the word could be used? If we don't teach them that beautiful is everything they are then "beautiful" will never be more than a magazine cover or a shade of lipstick. So, are my daughters beautiful? Yes, more than anything I'll ever know.

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Excellent reclamation Justin.

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Aaaaaarg!

But our value consists in our aesthetic function, doesn’t it, Todd?

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We have a goddamn obsession with traditional modes of beauty.

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And there is so much beauty in the world which remains unexamined

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Aesthetic appreciation > clear markers of physical attractiveness

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Maybe the problems are the canons of beauty we claim. And we wrongly equate beauty with a cartesian-superficial-physical beauty. We should have a more integrated view of beauty, not the one socialized by media. Art has a lot to teach us about that.

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