Such important advice. I have a four year old daughter and spending as much time with her each day has been the greatest gift ever. Being an Australian, but living in Japan, I love the Japanese model of multiple generations living together in the same house. In fact, they talk about building a three-generation home, etc. While it will be 100% up to my daughter, I wouldn’t be happier than if she voluntarily chose to live with us. In the flip side, if she wanted adventure elsewhere in her own, fine too. But Japan doesn’t have the stigma of “living with your parents” that western countries have. I think it’s wonderful!
This is so valuable. In my TW Journal, I often track a day’s 3 highlights. A few years ago, I noticed how many highlights were tied to one daughter or another. I’ve gone through some disorienting “grief” the past year or so, and am realizing it’s in part due to the widening gap of these moments with my 15 year old. So I do savor any “bone” of connection she’ll throw my way 😊 while still fulfilling my shifting “fatherly” roles and responsibilities.
Oh wow! I think you were listening to my conversation from over the weekend. My partner of six years, lost his wife suddenly 12 years ago, and his daughter, who is now 27 and healthy was born as a teeny tiny preemie. It’s been wonderful for me to be around someone who is so appreciative of every minute.
Also, this made me think of when my kids were younger. They’re now in their 20s. But I really tried to do activities that were their choice and to be fully present for as long as they wanted me to be. That literally spending two hours on the swing with my daughter , and my son the assignment to plan our day, during a time when I wanted a vacation vacation, I eventually had to tell limit him to only three different activities each day. It was 100 degrees and we were hiking, playing tennis, playing soccer. I added in swimming! Oh my!
And as you might guess, those are some very happy memories that we (and certainly *l*) look back on.
It’s a good reminder as we head into the holidays.
This could be a great drinking game - the worst best activities with your kids. Magic is terrible (to me). For me I’d choose chocolate fountains at chocolate festivals. The most un-hygienic experience that my kids would spend hours licking, shoving their hand in, watching other kids step into.
Abby the imagery of you and your kids is precious and I’m smiling reading about them. I wish everyone a parent like you who dotes on them as if the rest of the world stopped.
Such important advice. I have a four year old daughter and spending as much time with her each day has been the greatest gift ever. Being an Australian, but living in Japan, I love the Japanese model of multiple generations living together in the same house. In fact, they talk about building a three-generation home, etc. While it will be 100% up to my daughter, I wouldn’t be happier than if she voluntarily chose to live with us. In the flip side, if she wanted adventure elsewhere in her own, fine too. But Japan doesn’t have the stigma of “living with your parents” that western countries have. I think it’s wonderful!
I NOD my head as I’m a firm believer in inter generational friendships.
Absolutely!
You need to write a book. Stay tuned for my end of year book recommendations and one reminds me of you.
*on the flip side
This is so valuable. In my TW Journal, I often track a day’s 3 highlights. A few years ago, I noticed how many highlights were tied to one daughter or another. I’ve gone through some disorienting “grief” the past year or so, and am realizing it’s in part due to the widening gap of these moments with my 15 year old. So I do savor any “bone” of connection she’ll throw my way 😊 while still fulfilling my shifting “fatherly” roles and responsibilities.
How I love you as a dad. That term captures is beautifully with older kids.
Oh wow! I think you were listening to my conversation from over the weekend. My partner of six years, lost his wife suddenly 12 years ago, and his daughter, who is now 27 and healthy was born as a teeny tiny preemie. It’s been wonderful for me to be around someone who is so appreciative of every minute.
Also, this made me think of when my kids were younger. They’re now in their 20s. But I really tried to do activities that were their choice and to be fully present for as long as they wanted me to be. That literally spending two hours on the swing with my daughter , and my son the assignment to plan our day, during a time when I wanted a vacation vacation, I eventually had to tell limit him to only three different activities each day. It was 100 degrees and we were hiking, playing tennis, playing soccer. I added in swimming! Oh my!
And as you might guess, those are some very happy memories that we (and certainly *l*) look back on.
It’s a good reminder as we head into the holidays.
Oh man! And that summer I spent an hour every morning playing that #!%# game Magic the Gathering within my son. Haha! So awful and so fun!
This could be a great drinking game - the worst best activities with your kids. Magic is terrible (to me). For me I’d choose chocolate fountains at chocolate festivals. The most un-hygienic experience that my kids would spend hours licking, shoving their hand in, watching other kids step into.
Abby the imagery of you and your kids is precious and I’m smiling reading about them. I wish everyone a parent like you who dotes on them as if the rest of the world stopped.