Why You’re Following Rules and How It’s Costing You
Rule Following and Rule Violations Contribute More to Your Well-Being Than What You're Learning in Positive Psychology Courses
I know that most of us hate ‘em. Some of us love to break ‘em. Hell, some of us get an odd sense of satisfaction from just looking at a rule and thinking, “What would happen if I smashed this one to bits?”
I’ve been on record as a non-conformist since Hebrew School at my local temple questioning Rabbis about God’s inconsistent rules (source). Despite being miffed by misguided authority figures, feeling unconvinced by origin stories of shitty rules, we follow rules more than you think. A lot more.
A recent study in 2025 shows that most of us follow rules for reasons that aren’t rooted in “being a good citizen” (source). We follow rules because it benefits us in ways we’re too embarrassed to admit.
You might say you don't care what other people think. But the moment you imagine Justin from accounting raising an eyebrow at your life choices, you're suddenly stuffing yourself into an itchy sheep costume and riding the elevator of shame to your soul-crushing cubicle like the domesticated mammal you've become.
Despite the litany of LinkedIn posts you’ve liked about authenticity, nothing says "I'm disingenuous" quite like bleating your way through a PowerPoint presentation about quarterly projections while slowly dying inside. (Disingenuousness is the 8th deadly sin - SOURCE.)
Building off
’s article (here), let’s explore why we benefit from discernment in following people and their rules.