The Overlooked Wisdom of Older Adults
Tribute to an unsung psychological hero
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In a previous article, I mentioned that one of last acceptable forms of discrimination is unattractiveness.
A recent study detailed by
asks: after sending resumes, who is least least likely to be given an offer to the next stage - an interview? People deemed physically unattractive and older in age experience nearly the same level of discrimination as racial minorities.
Rethinking How We Treat Older Adults
In academia, there's a tradition known as a Festschrift, a celebratory publication honoring a respected academics lifetime of achievements. To set the right mood, let’s begin by lowering expectations Denmark style (link). It’s not nearly as vibrant as La Quinceanera - a coming-of-age extravaganza where the 15-year girl at the helm is showered with gifts and blessings, surrounded by family and friends dancing and gorging until dawn. But no need for direct comparisons. The main issue is why do we often wait until eminent members of society are no longer with us to celebrate the intellectual gifts given to us?
Consider the case of Rosalind Franklin, the unsung hero behind the discovery of the DNA double helix structure. Her crucial contribution was only recognized posthumously, long after her untimely death.
Or Henrietta Lacks, whose cells have been instrumental in countless medical breakthroughs, yet her story remained untold for decades after her passing.
A Festschrift is more than a collection of essays or articles. It's a testament that illuminates their work, influence, and passion with the hope of new readers discovering them. With this backdrop, I bring you my ode to an underappreciated powerhouse in well-being science (which is still a mess - click here)….
Dr. Paul Wong and his Psychological Study of Curiosity, Purpose, Flexibility, and More
Choosing to become a psychological scientist is not the grand opportunity for wealth that the outside world might think. The allure? Intellectual freedom. Mental liberation. Given the chance to delve into any aspect of human existence, the question becomes what will you explore? Some researchers are specialists, dedicating years to dissecting the physiology of panic attacks. Others, like Dr. Paul Wong, are generalists, immersing themselves in a broad spectrum of topics. From the psychology of curiosity and meaning in life to the study of stress, mental flexibility, and suffering, when I studied these topics, I was drawn to Dr. Wong's work.
Curiosities
Curiosity has intrigued psychologists for over a hundred years. To unravel the nature, causes, and consequences of curiosity, three research traditions emerged. The first views curiosity as an intrinsically rewarding state, where knowledge and experiences are pursued for their own sake (Berlyne, 1971; Deci, 1975; Dewey, 1913). The second frames curiosity as a drive reduction state, a motivational push to delve into the novel, complex, or uncertain, with the aim of decreasing arousal (Berlyne, 1960; Hull, 1943) or closing an information gap (Loewenstein, 1996). More recently, a third approach integrates the previous two. The feeling of interest can be distinguished from a feeling of deprivation (Kashdan et al., 2018; Litman, 2005).
I raise this perfunctory review of the curiosity literature to address Paul Wong’s contributions. In 1979, Paul Wong highlighted the overlooked role of frustration-based curious exploration. He suggested a U-shaped relationship between success and fulfillment, where too little or too much success hampers curiosity and growth opportunities. He remarked how, “teaching coping skills and the constructive role of frustration in the learning process have not received due attention from educators” (p.141). His recommendation? Teach people how to better tolerate the anxiety that arises from mental challenges. This idea resonated with our team, leading us to explore Stress Tolerance as a dimension of curiosity in the workplace and life (Kashdan et al., 2018, 2020). The result? We were surprised to find that stress tolerance is the most important curiosity dimension in predicting outcomes as diverse as work engagement, innovation, mindfulness, and intellectual humility.
Paul’s work on curiosity (Wong, 1979, 1981) underscores that discomfort, and even suffering, can lead to well-being (Wong, 2011). These concepts anticipated the idea of antifragility (Taleb, 2014), which suggests that stressors and other forms of disorder can be beneficial. Without these elements, an individual's development might stagnate.
Meaningful Living
Humans stand apart from animals not because of the pursuit of happiness, but the quest for meaning. Interestingly, research demonstrates that happiness and a meaningful life often stand at odds (Baumeister, Vohs, Aaker, & Garbinsky, 2013). Those who report high levels of meaning in their life experience both positive and negative events frequently, along with anxiety and worry; whereas the happier a person is, the less difficulties and struggles endorsed. While happiness seekers live in the present, rarely giving thought to their past or future, individuals seeking meaning often reflect on past hardships and future aspirations. People who associate their lives with happiness are more likely to see themselves as takers, leveraging opportunities provided by others, while those who find their lives meaningful tend to view themselves as givers, caring for others and offering gifts. These stark differences highlight the need for scientists and practitioners to look beyond the cultural fixation on happiness and recognize the importance of meaning and purpose in life (Wong, 1997; Wong & Fry, 1998).
After studying Paul Wong's work on meaning-centered therapies (e.g., Wong, 1998, 2010), my research team explored this as an alternative to traditional cognitive-behavioral interventions for conditions like social anxiety disorder (Kashdan & McKnight, 2013). We found that individuals with social anxiety disorder reap greater psychological benefits on days marked by significant effort or progress towards their self-defined life purpose, compared to a group of healthy adults. These benefits include an enhanced sense of self-worth, a heightened sense of meaning, and an increase in positive emotions. Despite the potential of meaning-centered therapy, as proposed and refined by Paul Wong over the past three decades, there is a lack of studies on how this can be applied to help those suffering from emotional disorders. This is crucial, as humans who are suffering aspire to more than just being free of disorders or being happy – they want to harness their human capacity for seeking and creating meaning, to build or restore a sense of purpose (Wong, 2012).
Residual Thoughts
Paul, a luminary in psychology, is not just a colleague but a close friend. His groundbreaking work has not just enlightened, but also emboldened me to challenge conventional thinking. Always ready to voice his disagreement, even if it meant publicly challenging influential figures (and me), Paul has remained true to his pursuit of a rich and meaningful existence. His unwillingness to mindlessly adopt popular, prevailing views has garnered not just my respect, but the admiration of countless others who have benefitted from his writings.
Paul's contributions to psychology, especially the domain of positive psychology, often go unrecognized. Yet, they form the sturdy foundation upon which I've built my research on topics such as curiosity, purpose, mental agility, stress, and coping. His influence, both direct and indirect, has significantly shaped our comprehension of human potential and growth. I hope these words inspire others to find the same inspiration from his work that I continue to do.
Honor the Legacy of Dr. Paul Wong
Besides his work that focuses on how to attain well-being in world full of suffering, you need to know his background. He is a first-generation immigrant from China, born in 1937, the year of the Nanking Massacre. As Paul points out:
This cultural difference probably accounts for most of my disagreement with the positive psychology launched by Martin Seligman.
He has been discriminated against in the field of psychology for decades. I have seen it first hand. I have access to emails sent to Paul by towering figures in psychological science that would break your heart. And yet, he kept doing the work - cranking out hundreds of studies and impactful books. My hope is that you read some of the contributions of an 87-year-old Chinese-Canadian scientist who offers so much despite the minimal number of allies in his corner. This newsletter is my small act of gratitude and hope.
Below, you can download free PDF’s of his latest ideas - gifts for researchers seeking research questions. Also, download a slew of articles written by scientists who discuss Paul’s influence. When Lilian Wong asked me to write a chapter, I responded in 7.8 seconds - obviously! You will recognize quite a few names such as
and . You will also notice conspicuous absences from big names in positive psychology. No worries. His work speaks for itself, to you, right here:Click here for free chapters on Dr. Paul Wong
Do not miss the details of his life story. In a period where we are supposed to celebrate diverse individuals whose contributions were obstructed and ignored, let’s acknowledge the mental fortitude and perseverance of Paul Wong.
Make sure others know his intellectual advances by sharing this set of freebies.
As for my favorite scientific article and book of his? There’s the book, The Human Quest for Meaning, that is simply the best academic repository on the science of meaning in life (click here).
As for scientific articles, there are his reflections on a balanced approach to well-being that embraces the darkness in the human psyche:
Provocations
But why limit this tradition of honoring older adults to academia? Let's extend it to all walks of life. Whether it's a pioneering social worker with domestic abuse survivors, a librarian helping kids discover the love of reading, or a community leader creating a neighborhood with rich opportunities out of rubble, their stories deserve to be told and celebrated - while they are still alive and mentally healthy!
By honoring these individuals, we're not just preserving their legacy. We're learning from their experiences, their wisdom, their mistakes. We're gaining insights that enable our own accomplishments. We're fostering a culture of appreciation and respect that inspires the next generation.
Let's honor heroes while they're still with us. But this is just the beginning. We need to respond differently to those who are older, especially in the United States. We need to upend a status quo that pushes older adults away, discriminates against them in the workplace, and isolates them in homes distant from family and friends accrued over a lifetime.
Consider an alternative landscape that we can create:
The Workplace: Imagine a world where older adults are hired not for the amount of hours clocked but for their wisdom and decision-making skills. Consider a scenario where age is seen as an asset rather than a liability in hiring decisions. How would this shift our economy and innovation?
The Home: What if elderly homes were integrated into our communities, allowing for intergenerational friendships and mentorships? And helping those parents who live nowhere near the more senior members of their families.
Education: Imagine a world where older adults are encouraged to continue their education and share their knowledge with younger generations. How would this transform our education system? Why do we assume formal education should mostly end at age 22, when college is finished? Especially when humans now live longer, with several more 20-year cycles…
Media: Envision a media landscape that celebrates the accomplishments of older adults as much as focusing on youth and beauty. How could this be integrated smoothly? With a greater diversity of options in who we can listen to and watch - the inputs - the outputs that are more desired by each of us can only be improved.
Let's not fear age, but learn to navigate it, one conscious decision at a time. Honoring Dr. Paul Wong is just an example that I hope others emulate. Because we all have influences and as they age, their contributions are not diminished. What diminishes them is a refusal to shine the spotlight on them.
Let’s talk more about this topic. I hope to hear about your Paul Wongs…
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Todd B. Kashdan is an author of several books including The Upside of Your Dark Side (Penguin) and The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively (Avery/Penguin) and Professor of Psychology and Leader of The Well-Being Laboratory at George Mason University.
Read Past Issues Here Including:
3 Psychological Strengths to Dissent Effectively
This newsletter is for people seeking sophisticated content on well-being + optimal performance (details here). This post is free for everyone. If you want full access to all Provoked posts, consider upgrading to paid (details here).
Paul's PP 2.0 paper was a good read and I've queued up the rest. Much of this resonates with my studies re: story. And represents the kinds of stories I want to tell.
♥️ THANK YOU, Todd! I love this rich and generous post so much! Thanks for sharing Paul’s important wisdom, along with other neglected figures in history. I learned a lot and admire Paul’s immense fortitude!