The 1st Time Somebody Made Me Feel My Body Was Wrong

When is it okay to lie to someone?

The average age of onset of social anxiety disorder or extreme, impairing social anxiety is 11 years of age! Sadly, people often don’t get treatment until their 20s or 30s, if ever… (source)

It was a humid July afternoon. I worked up the nerve to rip my shirt off at a neighborhood barbecue. You know the scene: cheap folding chairs, sticky red popsicles, dogs weaving between legs. I was 12, maybe 13, in that half-kid, half-question mark stage where you start to care about everything and understand almost none of it.

As I sat there roasting like a rotisserie chicken, some kid walked by, gave me a once-over, and said loud enough for everyone to hear,

“Dude, you look like somebody threw chocolate chips at a stick of butter!”

Everyone laughed.

Not cruel. Just casual, neighborly demolition of a kid’s self-esteem.

I did what you are supposed to do.

Laughed along.

Pretended it was no big deal.

Put my shirt back on “because I was cold,” despite the fact it was 90 degrees.

I did not take it off again for a long time. I don’t remember exactly how long. Years, probably.

But I do remember this: