Know These Three Psychological Mantras on Optimal Living
Know These Three Psychological Mantras on Optimal Living
Using a Trinity of Psychological Strengths
There are scientifically informed mantras that serve as threads through my thinking. Let me offer two that I share when teaching classes or facilitating workshops on well-being and optimizing groups.
When thinking about the godforsaken, trite, contrived, and appalling boring culture wars:
There is greater heterogeneity within groups than between groups
Which is why it’s a problem to evaluate people who are White, Black, or Asian. As if individuals are interchangeable and almost irrelevant. A mantra inspired by research from Dr. Steven Heine.
Here is one of his articles on how personality operates differently depending on what features of the prevailing culture are integrated within the self:
When thinking about the nature of well-being:
The building blocks of the good life are nothing more than what you do in a given moment. It is our interpretation of these accumulated moments that determine whether a life is viewed as worthwhile.
An idea that might feel overly simplistic. Especially when 5-day retreats offer the promise of becoming an optimist, or resilience in the face of trauma. A mantra inspired by research from Dr. William Fleeson. Here is his article on how to reconsider labels such as introverted, gifted, or highly sensitive:
But other mantras are inspired by non-psychologists who offer even greater inroads into the human condition.
What if some day or night a demon were to steal into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: “This life as you now live and have lived it you will have to live once again and innumerable times again; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unspeakably small or great in your life must return to you, all in the same succession and sequence” … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: “You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.”
Nietzche, The Gay Science
Now that is a provocation. Do yourself a favor and read it a second time. It is more than a declaration. And more than a series of questions. It is a quest to make wiser choices. It says more in one sentiment than entire books devoted to the subject of happiness or regret.
I mention this as a reminder to remove boundaries about who is a possible source of influence.
As a stranger said to me yesterday in a conversation about IQ tests, “I’ve never met a great craftsman or builder who wasn’t sharp.” They might not attend an elite university or even possess a high school education. Know that intelligence, creativity, and wisdom are neither limited nor tied to careers. Honor the wide range of people who can cognitively liberate. Call it diversity, if you will. It might be more accurate to refer to a trifecta of strengths.
A sense of curiosity about alternative ideas and perspectives.
Sufficient humility to acknowledge the limitations of experience and that other people can help close the gap between knowns and unknowns.
In the pursuit of growth, the courage to deviate from what others say you should or ought to do.
Provocation
How will you approach today in a way such that you would want to relive what happened over and over and over?
Where you will wield curiosity, humility, and courage to become a better person than yesterday?
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