I think about Grand Central Station a lot.
Not because of the architecture, though it deserves praise. Because I’ve had this quiet test in mind: if I do this parenting thing right, my kid should be able to stand in the middle of Grand Central at 16 years old, with a dollar to their name and find their way home, 252 miles away in Virginia. Even if they panic. Even if they have a sob story. With a constantly developing set of plans. Competent despite the daunting nature of the task.
It’s a little fantasy. But it gets to the heart of it.
We don’t raise kids to stay in our homes. We raise them to survive outside our zip code. And ideally, to function well when the world throws its worst at them.
This is why I’m proud of what happened after the Facebook Marketplace dresser purchase with my daughter Chloe - read the story here:
Because in that moment of victory, my daughter Chloe landed a dresser at a discount, after a mild hostage negotiation with a seller who thought he was playing chess while we were five moves deeper.
The dresser was cute. College won’t be. College is where psychological tools require yet another upgrade.
Here’s what’s missing from the university website: It’s about weird cafeteria food and unfortunate intestinal reactions. It’s manipulative roommates who “accidentally” forget rent, passive-aggressive texts from group project freeloaders, professors who reward loyalty over logic, and romantic partners who think boundaries are suggestions.
That’s the real game. And you don’t send your kids into it unarmed.
So here it is. No pearls of wisdom from overpriced parenting manuals. Just 17 essential negotiation and psychological self-defense tactics your kid should be fluent in before they pack their first Target haul. If you want them to handle the world and still keep their soul, read and discuss the 17 essential psychological maxims that I stockpiled for my adult twin daughters (starting college in 6 weeks)!
I promise this is worth becoming a premium Provoked community member: