Stop Half-Assing
Stop Half-Assing
Wisdom for a Full Life from Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi and Khalil Gibran
Google, in its characteristic fashion, pays homage to a luminary of psychology, the maestro behind the concept of flow theory, Dr. Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, on what would have been his 89th birthday, September 29th.
Now, you have undoubtedly tasted the sweet nectar of flow. It's that magical sensation when, 37 seconds into sharing an anecdote with friends, swinging a pickleball paddle, savoring a delectable meal, or simply observing a beaver's leisurely stroll through the grass, you become one with the moment. Time? It gracefully decelerates. Your ego and selfhood? They vanish, leaving only action and awareness in harmonious convergence. The outcome? A surge of optimal performance. Don't believe me? Watch Dr. Csikszentmihalyi's mesmerizing TED Talk.
Picture this - a quaint dinner in Opatija, Croatia, with none other than Dr. Csikszentmihalyi himself. And when asked, what's the quintessential measure of flow, his response was succinct:
I am experiencing intense joy.
Indeed, there's profound wisdom in that simplicity. Flow, my friends, isn't a mere fluke. There are at least ten precursors to entering this elusive state - whether you call it "being in the zone," attaining a "runner's high," or finding yourself "in a groove." But here's the kicker - you can't interrogate someone about these nuances while they're ensnared in the flow, and scarcely afterward either.
Dissecting the nine harbingers of flow.
Three of them delve into the psychology of it all: clear goals, immediate feedback, and an ever-so-important sense of control.
Another trio explores the environmental factors: the near-perfect alignment of your skills with the challenges at hand, meaningful consequences for your performance, and a fertile environment brimming with opportunities.
And finally, three more, from the social dimension: high-quality, low-maintenance communication, equal involvement from all participants, and shared objectives.
But here's the conundrum - you can't just tap someone on the shoulder and ask them these questions when they're deep in the throes of their activity. Why? Because in that sacred space of flow, their very essence melds with the task at hand. Flow and mindfulness are like oil and water, they just don't mix (click for research evidence).
Mindfulness is typically construed as a mental practice that requires
self-discipline and a commitment to trying to maintain reflective
awareness of each passing moment. In contrast, flow involves
intense task concentration, a loss of self-awareness, an altered
sense of time, and merging of activity and awareness.
A Different Perspective on Flow
Consider flow as moments where you don't hold back. No masks, no pretense. If you feel like grunting and sporting a resting "bitch face," so be it. No self-handicapping. Let failure be a possibility, even if it bruises your ego. It's about letting your skills and strengths shine, whether they meet expectations or not. If flow is about shedding self-awareness and self-consciousness, let's make a conscious choice to embrace it fully.
In the words of Khalil Gibran, nobody encapsulates a life dedicated to flow better:
Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not live half a life
and do not die a half death
If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent
If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it
If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance
Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results
Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know
The half is a mere moment of inability
but you are able for you are not half a being
You are a whole that exists to live a life
not half a life.
Provocation
This week, embark on an activity with your full arsenal. Choose immersion. Allow room for extremes - the possibility of soaring to the stars or crashing to the earth. Be captivated by your own words and those of others. Whether it's a workout, a conversation, a physical encounter, an assignment, a meal, a playful moment, or simply rest - go all in.
Why, you might ask? Because full immersion births those rare, precious moments that etch themselves into your very being. They dwell in your working memory, reside in your short-term memory, and eventually find a home in your long-term memory. These moments become the bedrock of who you are and who you aspire to be. So, add another layer to your identity by refusing to engage half-heartedly.
Cease Fearing Greatness - Unlock Your Hidden Potential.
Full immersion awaits - embrace it, and watch as your life transforms.
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Extra Curiosities
Read the latest work from one of my favorite thinkers on curiosity, coaching, and legacy. None other than Michael Bungay Stanier. Never heard of him? Then consider this a gift - pick up his latest provocative book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships. He thinks differently. You will in turn, gain psychological tools that don’t exist elsewhere. I am very serious about my recommendations. Tag me when you find a nugget of wisdom that hit you hard.
